


药剂

by VOlympianlove



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 09:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10383330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VOlympianlove/pseuds/VOlympianlove
Summary: Why him?Why his heart and soul?Why the medicine to his heartache?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [kpopolymfics2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2017) collection. 



> This fic was written for K-Pop Olymfics 2017. Olymfics is a challenge in which participants write fics based on prompt sets and compete against other teams of writers, organized by genre. 
> 
> This is Team AU’s fic for the following prompt set:  
>  **Baek Jiyoung – "There's No Cure"**  
> [lyrics](https://popgasa.com/2016/02/02/baek-ji-young-feat-verbal-jint-medicine-%EC%95%BD%EB%8F%84-%EC%97%86%EB%8C%80%EC%9A%94/) | [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji4jJNyAGQM) | [supplementary](https://www.flickr.com/photos/51204939@N06/14082472149/) [prompts](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/olymficsmod/37777224/1892/1892_900.jpg)
> 
> The other 2 fics for this prompt can be found in [the collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2017). Competition winners are chosen by the readers, so please rate this fic using [this survey](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1cl4j1gI34kaevlkZj2-6Gp7YiBr4DCOLY-1D1pHmVlQ/edit)!
> 
> Thank you to Kuro for basically mothering me through this entire period. We’ve had many many interesting conversations because of my craziness and tendency to random start screaming for help no matter what time the day it is and for my team members who have been incredibly supportive this entire time. I basically poured this entire fic out in one sitting after writing what, four unsuccessful drafts? I’ll link the playlist I listened to while writing this fic to give you guys the feels. The title of this fic basically means Medicine in mandarin. Hope you guys enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> [Spotify*](https://open.spotify.com/user/olympianlove/playlist/6SYrWMBeIfPtKOryUzRN34)   
>  [Apple Music](https://itunes.apple.com/sg/playlist/sad-song/idpl.93e94892d8ab4ba68b01d01c9af80862%20)
> 
>  
> 
> *Spotify’s playlist has two songs missing from it because they are OSTs from web dramas and thus are not available on Spotify.

 

The pain was crippling, confining him to his bed, the space where he once shared many passionate nights, tender kisses, and whispered confessions with the man he loved more than anything in the world.  

 

The moonlight lit upon the aqua sheets, once his favourite colour. The ceiling rippled with the reflected colour, making it seem as if he was under the ocean. The scent of mint and waterlily filled the room, once his favourite body wash.  

 

His clothes were strewn all over the room, with no one to nag at him to pick them up. It was easier to lie to himself this way, pretending that he would be home soon to lecture him about the importance of having everything neatly put together.  

 

His favourite candles still burned in the living room, his favourite jacket still hung in the laundry room. His guitar was half out of its case, his pencil beside his overflowing notebook on his desk.  

 

Yifan lifted the cigarette to his lips, laughing bitterly to himself as he sucked in a breath of tobacco scented smoke. He would never have allowed him to smoke at all, much less in the house, in their bedroom. The whole reason he had burned all of his cigarette packs was because of him.  

 

He turned his head slowly, meeting eyes with the photo frame that stood beside the bed. The two men in the picture were so entangled in each other’s arms that you could not tell where one ended and the other began.  

 

Their lips were locked together and Yifan could almost taste the salt water on his tongue, could almost feel the fabric of his wet T-shirt sticking to his skin as they kissed. The picture was so raw, captured so much of how they felt towards each other that the photographer had given them the only copy, saying that no one else should own such a private and passionate moment of theirs.  

 

Yifan turned his head away, blowing out a puff of smoke to gaze at the ceiling. He had insisted on pasting glow in the dark sticky stars on it, following the constellations in the night sky exactly.  

 

Yifan could picture the scene so clearly in his mind that it was almost as if it had happened only yesterday.  

 

The room was still bare of any furniture as they had only just finished painting the walls. It had been a compromise, combining his love of anything blue with Yifan’s desire of having simple black. 

 

The walls had been painted in a deep navy blue and the ceiling an inky black. Sunlight streamed in from the tall bay windows that they had opened to let the room air out.  

 

He had armed himself with a ladder and a heavily detailed map of the celestial heavens, painstakingly drawing out every line and dot before placing on the children’s pack of glow in the dark star stickers.  

 

Yifan remembered his childish laugh of delight when night fell and he could see the fruits of his labour glow softly in the darkness.  

 

The bed had been moved in that very same day and they had christened the room with much pleasure.  

 

It began as soft notes, as if someone was testing the keys on a new piano before it slowly evolved into a sweet, soulful piece written by some obscure composer.  

 

As if compelled by some outside force, Yifan left the room, his feet automatically taking him to the living room, where their white baby grand took up the most room. They had splurged on the instrument in celebration of his best artwork being sold to some multi billionaire.   

 

They had spent a lot of their time in the living room, just the two of them. He could compose quirky little pieces for Yifan’s birthday or just play whichever song was the hottest on the radio at the moment.  

 

His voice always reminded Yifan of clear stream water running over stones, sweet and clear as he sang. That voice echoed in his ears now as he stood beside the grand instrument, laying a hand on the worn keys.  

 

He could see his slim figure bent over the piano, playing a soft baby’s lullaby. Tears filled his eyes as the figure before him faded, replaced by black nothingness. The music slipped away as well, as if it had never been there at all.  

 

Sharp pain exploded through his chest and he screamed, slamming his fist harshly onto the keys, notes clashing dissonant into the air before he collapsed onto his knees, clutching at his chest. 

 

“Why!”  

 

He had been running late for his last rehearsal and had left earlier than Yifan, who had promised to be there for the actual performance. He had been wearing his favourite baby blue, wool knitted sweater that Yifan had gotten him for Christmas and had a briefcase full of his music sheets.  

 

He had kissed him goodbye in the kitchen after he handed him his tea in a thermos, whispering a sweet “See you later!” in his ear before slipping into his leather shoes and darting out the door.  

 

Yifan remembered thinking how much he had looked like an angel as he fumbled with his shoes, the disappearing sunlight illuminating him in a halo of light before he had vanished outside to call a cab.  

 

He felt it when he had gone, just a sudden sharp pain in his heart. He had dropped the book he had been reading, doubling over to grab his chest in agony. His breath felt as if it had been snatched right out of his lungs and he could not breathe.  

 

The phone call came right when he had managed to stabilize himself, grabbing his phone as his mind came out of the pain.  

 

It was as if all the colour had been sucked out of his world and the world yanked out from  beneath his feet when the nurse said the words. 

 

“I’m sorry to inform you that your friend, Zhang Yixing, was involved in a car accident and died of blood loss before he got to the surgery room.”  

 

“We’re married…” Was all he could think to say as his mind went blank and his knees gave out.  

 

“Mr Wu? Mr Wu!” The nurse’s voice was frantic but Yifan barely heard her through the buzzing in his ears. He laid on the white fuzzy carpet that Yixing had insisted they get for the living room, eyes flying to the bouquet of red roses he had bought to give to his husband when he nailed his concert like he always did.  

 

Yixing was _gone._  

 

Everything that had happened after the phone call passed by in a blur. Friends who had known about them flew in from their honeymoons and various holidays to attend the funeral and give their condolences.  

 

Even Yixing’s parents who had thrown him out when he came out to them showed up, his mother practically in hysterics as the casket was laid into the ground. His father had been silent, stony faced.  

 

Yifan had gone through the entire proceedings without shedding a single tear. He had watched, completely detached as the casket was placed into the ground and covered. It was only when he was called out to do the eulogy that he broke, fleeing from the funeral grounds back home to hide in the room that they had converted into a home studio for Yixing.  

 

All of his things were exactly as he had left them. Yifan had not touched them since he came home from the funeral. The sharp aching pain he had felt the exact moment his lover had left him never faded, plaguing him for good. 

 

Now, all he could do was kneel on the plush white carpet, screaming at the unfairness of it all.  

 

 _Why him?_  

 

 _Why his heart and soul?_  

 

 _Why the medicine to his heartache?_  

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yet, another reminder. 
> 
> The other 2 fics for this prompt can be found in [the collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2017). Competition winners are chosen by the readers, so please rate this fic using [this survey](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1cl4j1gI34kaevlkZj2-6Gp7YiBr4DCOLY-1D1pHmVlQ/edit)!


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